Copper
On my tongue
I spit it out
No more swallowed pennies
No more making change out of myself
So others can buy their reflection
No more
The storm
Behind my eyelids stays awake
But now it’s mine to call
I let it crack
Let the lightning
Outline their shadows
In perfect detail
No hiding behind sugar voices
No masquerade in satin smiles
No masks at all
Their smoke curls toward me—
I watch it writhe in the air
But it burns to nothing
Before it reaches bone
Every word
They try to lace with poison
Hits the salt in my blood
And dies, hissing
Like oil dropped in fire
They once thought
I was an ocean
Turns out—
I am the tide
I decide who docks
I decide when to pull back
I decide when to leave their ships
Stranded on dry sand
Barnacles choking in the air
I decide
I decide
Sweet talk from glass teeth?
I hear the strain in every syllable
I hear the break where the lie leaks out
Their perfume stinks of need
Their eyes glitter with desperation
They reach for keys
To doors that no longer exist
Their ghosts knock in the night
I tell them: wrong address
Gnawing hunger for reflection
I do not feed it anymore
I carry my own mirror now
Polished with truth
And it will not flatter them
I see the empty theater
I see the audience was only me
And I have stood up
Walked out
Grief crescents
Under my nails—
Cleaned away
Borrowed pain—
Returned to sender
I have no intention
Of being their whetstone
Walls stand now
Stone on stone
Mortar mixed with something
Harder than compassion:
Discernment
My softness is not weakness
It is the river that carves mountains
It is the force that wears down steel
Inside me
That ember
Is no longer small
I can stand in the riptide
And not be moved
I can watch the sky darken
And not fear the lightning
Because I am the lightning
I am the lightning
I am the
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